I've been experiencing anxiety attacks again. Not the kind that make me wish I was hauling my ass to the city in unspeakable weather. More like the kind that makes me want to send out my resume RIGHT F'ING NOW or burn it (even though it's electronic) and resign from corporate life forever. They're happening at times like when I've driven the same route 6 times in a day and I still have to do it 2 more times. Or when I end up in a local Fortune 500 parking lot, and I can smell the 50-page powerpoint decks from there. I think I figured out what this means for my future:
1. I need SOME variety. Some people do the same thing every day and are comfortable living that way. My son is a perfect example. Vere from his routine and life stops. The brakes go on immediately and the wheels come off—all at once. Total coo koo time for everyone around him. My daughter is the opposite. If her day is exactly the same, she starts pulling out clothes that demand a different activity. If we're going to the park for the third day, she gets dressed in a ball gown. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I like when my weeks are colorful. But man do I love my Starbucks routine.
2. I cannot feel trapped. I cannot express the level of suck you experience when sitting in a mandatory (yet useless to you) meeting while opportunity just keeps beeping on your phone. And in the same vein, if I go more than 2 days without a minute away from my children I start to claw at my husband like a caged animal. Freedom is definitely the cost of entry for whatever I do next. Just typing this section is making my deoderant malfunction.
3. I need to work with nice people. If I have to sit quietly and listen to one more person get their rocks off by demeaning a subordinate, I might actually become like that big dude in Fantastic 4. Big fist and just BAM. Squash 'em like a bug. Companies seem to be so concerned with how employees treat their superiors. There are all kinds of written and unspoken rules around that topic. But there's no "you can't be an asshole to the people who support you" rule. Yup, getting twitchy again. It matters.
Alright, so I need to do all kinds of fun things (after I get my coffee) and have tons of flexibility while working with nice people. Looks like I'm gonna be unemployed for a while longer.
1. I need SOME variety. Some people do the same thing every day and are comfortable living that way. My son is a perfect example. Vere from his routine and life stops. The brakes go on immediately and the wheels come off—all at once. Total coo koo time for everyone around him. My daughter is the opposite. If her day is exactly the same, she starts pulling out clothes that demand a different activity. If we're going to the park for the third day, she gets dressed in a ball gown. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I like when my weeks are colorful. But man do I love my Starbucks routine.
2. I cannot feel trapped. I cannot express the level of suck you experience when sitting in a mandatory (yet useless to you) meeting while opportunity just keeps beeping on your phone. And in the same vein, if I go more than 2 days without a minute away from my children I start to claw at my husband like a caged animal. Freedom is definitely the cost of entry for whatever I do next. Just typing this section is making my deoderant malfunction.
3. I need to work with nice people. If I have to sit quietly and listen to one more person get their rocks off by demeaning a subordinate, I might actually become like that big dude in Fantastic 4. Big fist and just BAM. Squash 'em like a bug. Companies seem to be so concerned with how employees treat their superiors. There are all kinds of written and unspoken rules around that topic. But there's no "you can't be an asshole to the people who support you" rule. Yup, getting twitchy again. It matters.
Alright, so I need to do all kinds of fun things (after I get my coffee) and have tons of flexibility while working with nice people. Looks like I'm gonna be unemployed for a while longer.
RSS Feed