Mental Hiccups
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Day 17

6/6/2014

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My fear

I have this fear of standing still. Everywhere I go, and everything I do, I'm constantly making sure I'm not just standing still. I hate waiting in lines. I hate traffic. And I hate when I look back a year prior and I haven't made any progress. I literally despise the feeling of being stagnant. On the flipside, I love the feeling of moving forward. Ugh, but I'm terrified of change. It's such a conundrum. It's so scary to do something new. I remember as a kid, one day I stopped and realized that the day would come when school would end for good. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that one day I might stop learning. It was a horrible feeling. Now as an adult, I remind myself every New Year's Eve that next year should be different somehow—improved. I think about what I want to learn. What do I want to do differently. This year, New Years came in May. And I have a big goal in mind.


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    I'm on a quest to find my next path in life. One that allows me to be a mom and a professional. I know it's out there. And I'd love to share my stumbles along the way to find it. 

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