Mental Hiccups
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Day 20 — ancy

6/9/2014

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So, it happened. I got ancy. Okay, I'll be honest, I actually got envious of a mom who said she worked. So there you have it, I do want to work. The small insecurity deep down inside me that was terrified this might not be a hiatus but a permanent life change, has finally been squashed. Here are all the signs that have led me to the re-confirmation of my working mom identity:

1. It's taking less and less time for my kids to drive me nuts. 
Every day it creeps up earlier and earlier. In fact, the other day, it only took 5 minutes. And man are my kids cute. But my husband's super handsome too, and sometimes all it takes is him chewing to drive me up the wall. So cuteness isn't helping the bat-shit-crazy factor. Nope. The only solution is the daily escape. 

2. I'm not good at slave status. 
I've never been very domestically successful. Not having a job means I'm supposed to keep the house neat AND clean (yes, there's a huge difference), dishes are suddenly my job, laundry (fold and put away), etc. I'm not good at these things. I can do them. But waking up every morning and knowing it's all my job sucks HUGE donkey balls. I resign. I quit. Blech. 

3. Listening to other people talk about work has become interesting. 
Let's be honest, NO ONE'S WORK STORIES ARE INTERESTING. However, as a friend, you listen, give advice or offer up thoughts. But lately, I actually desire to hear people's work situations. WHAT???? That's crazy. I know. Insane. I'll even admit, I'm fascinated. Rivetted. Especially in regards to the mom's who are working from home. OMG. I am a loser. 

4. I hate not making money. HATE. HATE. HATE it. I've come to realize that my husband could make 10 gagillion dollars a year, and I'd still want my own checking account with money that EYE made. My checking account is dwindling fast. And I find myself rationing food to my kids (they don't need a whole bowl of soup...). Or sacrificing my Starbucks (it's happening). Or...get this...I ate old food. I actually thought in my mind that it would save me from using any more money in my account. Which is incredibly stupid because it's not like my husband's not working. He is. It just pains me to know my account will not be replenished in 15 days by money that I contributed. 

5. I started peeking at job boards. Shhhhh...don't tell anyone. 

So I guess it's time to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I have a few ideas. And I getting super excited to start the ball rolling. 


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